a mere shadow of my former self...

I am only a mere shadow of my former self. I was not this kind of a pessimist back then. I was one of the people that always look at the brighter side of life. But now, I can only show others that side, but not looking at that myself. I always fake a smile to my real friends, just to show them that I am happy, but in reality, I'm far from it. I am always unsatisfied. Always wanting more. The thing that made me into this mess is just 2 years back. During my last year at highschool.

Career Path...

I haven't made a career path to follow, even though I am a college student now. I'm the type of person that never plans. I always think about doing stuff just moments before I do it. Sometimes I do spend time to think things through, but most of the time I don't even follow my plan. It just so happens that things that happen to me works out somehow, positively most of the time, but it really is so very, very bad when it doesn't. Yes, I am an impulsive person. But when I play video games, I do the opposite; I plan things but I make important decisions quickly depends on the situation. My point is that I am still lost; lost in a sense that I don't know what I want to do in my life. Help.

The Lone Wolf..

yes. I do go to class alone. I eat my lunch alone. I play video games alone. I almost do everything alone now. Since I barely trust anybody at school today, I do school stuff alone, unless I need to join and do works in groups. And yes, I feel lonely sometimes. It kinda sucks when something interesting happens to you at school and you have nobody to talk about it. It really sucks...