this morning I opened facebook and saw a notif that tells me that I was mentioned in a post. Well, that's new. I checked it out and saw a link to a blog. It was this.
http://jhag28.blogspot.com/
Read it, it is long, but really worth the time.
After reading, I became unsure of things I know that was indubitable. I became confused about my feelings. Or something like that. I don't know... I don't want that... waaah. lol. My mind is in chaos right now. Help.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Trust Issues...
I have developed a problem in trusting people just recently. I don't like to trust people because I know that they will make me lose my trust on them soon. I had a bad experience during my first year in college(last year). I trusted my so-called "friends" and eventually, they did something that made me distrust them now. I don't see them much these days but when I do, I always fake a smile and I always hide my true thoughts from them, just because I don't trust them anymore. They are more like companions to me now than friends...
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Harry Potter Films...
Harry Potter Films represent my childhood movie life. I always look forward for the next HP movie that will come out. These movies taught me a lot of things like how to be brave, importance of thinking logically, and how to be loyal to your friends and loved ones. It also helped me understand complicated people and how to deal with them. These movies showed me that I am blessed to have a loving family.
By watching the final movie, it meant that the time of being a kid is over. It is time to grow up and use the knowledge that this series taught me through these past 10 years. This series will always have a special place in my heart.
By watching the final movie, it meant that the time of being a kid is over. It is time to grow up and use the knowledge that this series taught me through these past 10 years. This series will always have a special place in my heart.
Friday, July 15, 2011
A movie quote that describes my life now...
Doctor: "So, did anything that happened today that triggered these feelings?"(talking about suicidal tendency)
Craig(in his mind): "Sometimes I wish I have a easy reason why I am depressed, like my father beats me or I was sexually abused, but my problems are less dramatic than that. Like my father always asks the wrong questions. And my friends sometimes look at me like I'm from another planet. And I'm obsessed with this girl... who happens to be going out with my best friend.[Imma change the last sentence to: "And I'm in love with this girl but I have no idea if she really likes me or not, and I'm like waiting for something to happen but I have no idea if it will do happen."]"
Craig: " Uhmm, no. Nothing unusual."
- It's Kind of a Funny Story (2010)
-- This is what I feel right about now. Not suicidal exactly, yet. Dunno. Maybe its all in my mind... Making up silly and disturbing ideas...
Craig(in his mind): "Sometimes I wish I have a easy reason why I am depressed, like my father beats me or I was sexually abused, but my problems are less dramatic than that. Like my father always asks the wrong questions. And my friends sometimes look at me like I'm from another planet. And I'm obsessed with this girl... who happens to be going out with my best friend.[Imma change the last sentence to: "And I'm in love with this girl but I have no idea if she really likes me or not, and I'm like waiting for something to happen but I have no idea if it will do happen."]"
Craig: " Uhmm, no. Nothing unusual."
- It's Kind of a Funny Story (2010)
-- This is what I feel right about now. Not suicidal exactly, yet. Dunno. Maybe its all in my mind... Making up silly and disturbing ideas...
Gaming... my addiction. past and present.
Yes, I am addicted to gaming. I've played almost all genres of video games since I was a kid. It's a long story when and why I started playing. I spent a lot of cash in playing video games for the past 6 years of my life. I never thought of stopping until maybe when I'm working already and have a real life.
After 6 years of gaming, I still never get tired of playing video games. I still crave for the excitement I feel when I start the consoles, the PCs and the handhelds. I love killing monsters, killing fellow players ^^, completing quests, following a character's story until the end. It kinda serves as my escape from my boring and mediocre life filled with uncertainty. At least in video games you could do stuff you can't do in real life. It gave me the power to be somebody I cannot, and will never be.
But also after all these years, it kinda ruined my childhood too. I never got to play outside the house. I barely know our neighbors, I never had enough time to play physical games in the past. I really suck at socializing with others. I was stuck at my own virtual world, pretending to be someone I'm not, and being able not to be judged by others. Safe from the cold and harsh reality.
But sometimes I wish I could turn back time and stop myself to play too much video games. I want to be a kid again. I want to play outside with other kids. I want to meet my neighbors from the past. I live in a very nice and friendly neighborhood btw. and I never had the chance to meet the other kids and play with them back then. so sad.
After 6 years of gaming, I still never get tired of playing video games. I still crave for the excitement I feel when I start the consoles, the PCs and the handhelds. I love killing monsters, killing fellow players ^^, completing quests, following a character's story until the end. It kinda serves as my escape from my boring and mediocre life filled with uncertainty. At least in video games you could do stuff you can't do in real life. It gave me the power to be somebody I cannot, and will never be.
But also after all these years, it kinda ruined my childhood too. I never got to play outside the house. I barely know our neighbors, I never had enough time to play physical games in the past. I really suck at socializing with others. I was stuck at my own virtual world, pretending to be someone I'm not, and being able not to be judged by others. Safe from the cold and harsh reality.
But sometimes I wish I could turn back time and stop myself to play too much video games. I want to be a kid again. I want to play outside with other kids. I want to meet my neighbors from the past. I live in a very nice and friendly neighborhood btw. and I never had the chance to meet the other kids and play with them back then. so sad.
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